- Gender
- Female
Mew was also once a lobby "Chat cat" and would keep lobby loungers entertained for HOURS with either Car talk or simply reading Chinese Horoscopes to ppl curious of their birth signs~! *STILL keeps the Chinese zodiac scroll bedside for ppl at a moments notice~!*I have only just begun to understand the art of lobbying. I see the professionals day in and day out sitting in their photon chairs or vigilantly standing watch over the rest of the lobby from above the desk. Of course there is always the stairs... Quite boring and uncomfortable if you ask me but a popular choice nonetheless. And I often worry about the players who get stuck between the pillar and the counter and start shaking violently. Is there something wrong with them? Have they been infected by Falz? Do they need help? I have no idea. Every time I log on I watch and try to learn the secrets of the Lobby-goers but sooner or later I am right back where I started. Stuck in another quest with random players or mindlessly feeding mags for hours on end. I don't know how it happens, all I know is that I have not yet mastered the art of lobbying. It's time I try again. I will update this post to document my ongoing journey.
Update #1: I spent about 1 minute in the lobby today. I joined Fodra 1 and sat down in my photon chair using the hotkeys that a kind stranger taught me (alt + backspace). I must have made a mistake somehow because before I knew it I found myself outside of the lobby again. I'm going to have to try harder...
Update #2: It took me a couple tries but I stayed in the lobby for a solid 7 minutes this time. I am beginning to understand the art of the photon chair and I am making a lot of progress but my mentor just sits there, silently judging me. I figured out how to sit in my photon chair using a controller and things were going pretty well. I created my own style of AFK photon chair sitting. I call it "chair racing." I sit in my chair and scoot around the lobby trying to complete laps faster than my friends. People tell me this is not "afk enough". Whatever. I went to do a TTF to get my mind off of things and about 5 minutes later I realized my mistake... I was no longer in the lobby. Lobbying is hard... But I won't give up. I'll never give up.
Update #3: I was having a lot of fun killing monsters on Ragol and searching for PD's but my stomach was rumbling. I had to take a break and go afk to get some food so I logged out and made some fish tacos. As soon as I was finished eating them I booted up PSO and once again entered the lobby, not wanting to waste any time. I was determined to make even more progress this time. I approached my mentor and asked for some tips & tricks but they just sat there ignoring me once again. I waited patiently for a few minutes but they just refused to answer me. Clearly I am still not worthy of their respect. I'm trying to afk but I don't know how! The point of this game is to play the game! I DON'T GET IT!!!! I was so angry that I sat down in my photon chair and I didn't even try to chair race this time. I just sat there angrily waiting for my mentor to answer me. I sat there for almost 30 minutes just staring at my screen making angry faces. My mentor did not move a muscle or say a word the entire time. So stoic in his resolve. I don't understand how a person can have the attention span to just sit there unflinchingly for THIRTY MINUTES. TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS YOU SMALL GREEN HAIRED LOBBY MAN! I can't take it anymore. I have to log out to go get my mind right.
Update #4: I was so stupid... This whole time it was right in front of my face but I just couldn't see it. When I was eating tacos, I should have been eating them in the lobby... When I was calming down, I should have been in the lobby... WHEN I AM SLEEPING, I SHOULD BE IN THE LOBBY! This whole time I've been trying to understand how to afk in the lobby just by showing up and spending time there but no that's not it. The way to truly master the art of the lobby is simply to go to the lobby and then walk *away from keyboard* Such a simple strategy! I was so excited I immediately rushed back to fodra 1 to share my newfound understanding of lobbying with my mentor. I approached them and started shouting. "I figured it out! I finally understand the art of lobbying! Aren't you proud of me?" ...... no response ..... STILL NO RESPONSE?! Why have you forsaken me mentor? I'm finally making real progress this time. PLEASE TALK TO ME! .... My spirit is crushed. But I will not give up... I went afk. And this time... I did not log off of pso. I am really afk. I will not be swayed by your lack of approval. I will try again and again until I succeed. I will prove myself.
Update 5: I've been afking in the lobby more than I ever have before... I changed my characters name so nobody would recognize me. I bound a meaningless button to mouse 1 so I can cancel the afk timer by clicking my wireless mouse. I don't even have to be near my PC. I'm letting my mag orders fall behind. I haven't gone outside in months. Sometimes I don't even play pso at all I just sit in the lobby all day but it's not important anymore. I must master the art of the lobby. Nothing else matters. Someone told me that sitting in the lobby has a direct effect on your RNG. That has to be true I mean nobody can argue with that. Think about it. Look at every rare drop ever found on this server. 100h caliburs? They spent time in the lobby. 95h Vjaya? They started in the lobby. 45h lame? They went to the lobby. 70h guld? I saw you in the lobby! If I stay here for longer then I'm GUARANTEED to get a super rare drop too eventually! I just have to spend more time in the lobby!!!
Update 6: *visibly shaking* I finally figured it out! What a breakthrough! *still shaking* If you just jam yourself in between the desk and the pillar you can get in between them and enter a higher vibrational frequency! *still shaking* The players that get stuck here aren't in trouble, they don't need help at all! They're perfect! THIS IS THE TRUE LOBBY! *violent shaking* I'm not really sure how to explain the science behind this phenomenon. *shaking* I'll have to spend more time studying it... My hypothesis is that it has something to do with the amount of hours you've spent afk in the lobby. I seemed to be able to push further between the pillar and the desk after long bouts of afk'ing. *shaking continues*
Update 7: I've started playing other video games instead of PSO while I afk in the lobby. I might as well put my time to good use if I'm not going to be playing pso anymore. I've been using the lobby to look for groups for these games. So far the other players haven't been very receptive. They keep telling me things like: "No craig, nobody wants to spend $125 on Escape from Tarkov and the last update ruined the game anyways." or "No craig. Sid Meier's SimGolf doesn't even run on modern gaming PCs and it's a single player game." or "No craig, we don't want to play a heavily modded online version of the 1997 release of Backyard Baseball with you anymore because you always pick first and choose Pablo and he's way too overpowered. Why don't you just come do HBR with us instead and make some PDs!" HAHA. Laughable replies from unskilled players! They know nothing of the lobby.
Yet... Something is... wrong...
I can see myself in them.
Long ago, I too was an "unskilled player." I used to ask other players to do HBR with me... I used to enjoy the ups and downs of slaying monsters all across Ragol and hoping for good drops... I can remember fondly the haste with which our party would finish a quest and then remake the same game, always being careful to spend as little time as possible in the lobby. A place which I now hold sacred. A place which I now call my home...
What have I become...? Have I lost something on this journey? Something important? Is afk'ing in the lobby truly peak PSO..? Or have I made some horrible mistake... I don't know what to believe anymore...
Defeated, I turn to my mentor one last time and say, "Please, I beg of you! Bestow upon me your wisdom oh great broccoli man! I need to understand what it truly means to lobby."
... silence
but then... a photon chair swivels...
Have I finally evoked a response from the afk god himself?
The green haired man turns to me and utters the most beautiful words I have ever heard:
"I have no idea who you are"
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I really enjoyed this as a writing prompt lol. Thank you for the inspiration from your incredible writing @emoticon and thank you @CwTCwT for being the AFK lobby legend. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it while afk in the lobby.
And yes, CWT-kun ish LEGEND~! =3
