I'm tempted to keep making dumb jokes, but I actually firmly believe civic participation is super important and, despite being the child of filthy immigrants, I tend to be a pretty patriotic person when it comes to 'murica. So, my fellow Americans:
1) I think people should give serious thought and concern to local elections. Whatever happens in the White House is, in terms of day-to-day life, nothing compared to what happens in city councils, state legislatures, governor's mansions and so on. I would hazard to say 90% of what happens in politics that affects *you* personally happens at the state level or lower.
2) One of the candidates in this election is targeting my hometown for stationing people at the polls, with one person explicitly saying that they would profile people of certain racial/ethnic backgrounds. No matter your political affiliation, no matter who you are voting for, no matter your race (or whatever), you have a right to vote. Do not let some goon take that away from you — it's illegal to interfere with the electoral process. There are usually phone numbers to call to report unsavoury elements being present at the polls.
3) There is basically no excuse for not voting. (Sorry, Scoob.) I will be flying to Boston on election day. Where I live, you can absentee vote from your couch pretty much, via mail. They don't care one bit if you'll really be out of state on election day or not. Your vote will be counted all the same. Most other states have similar provisions in place. And hey, if you hate both major candidates, vote for a third party, or write-in Principal Tyrell. Just don't forget that the presidential election isn't the only ballgame next week. Planning on moving to Canada (haha) after this election anyways? Don't forget about your family and friends who probably won't all follow you. We're in this together.
4) Whoever wins, things will be fine. Really. We have had some seriously awful presidents in our history and lived through some ridiculously crazy times. I still believe what happens in local elections is far more important, but in either case, things will be okay. Really. They might not be great, you might have to spend 4-8 years griping like Democrats did during Bush or Republicans have done during Obama, but we are still here.