Are you excited?

[raggamuffin]

That's what everyone asked me before I left work yesterday as they knew I was picking up the keys to our new home today.

But I wasn't excited. There were moments prior to our initial house falling through when I was genuinely excited. This was because the vendor was renovating the entire house before we were to move in. We were going to live in a house with a brand new interior - how many people can say that unless they buy a new build home?

This house we've bought is the exact opposite. Whilst it's perfectly liveable, it's a house that was owned by the same family for nearly 70 years. The lady who lived there before she passed away had clearly made do with the house in the condition it was in for a considerable amount of time. Rather than moving into a pristine and brand new house, we're moving into one which is going to need every single room redecorating.

Our plans involve walls coming down, a new kitchen, new flooring throughout the house, built in wardrobes, new electrics, a new bathroom. They're big plans and they should fill me with hope and excitement, but they don't.

When I picked up the keys and went in the house I felt no real positivity. I was hit with the realization of what a long and expensive road lay ahead for us.

Anyone else find supposedly key, exciting and life changing moments in life were a complete anti climax? Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. The term "now you'll have your own house" gets thrown around at me in many conversations. Truth be told we don't know own a house. In reality I'm in the biggest debt of my life, that won't be paid off until i'm 55. The bank owns my house, and much like living at my parents house I'll be living in a house that isn't mine. Well, not until i've paid it off. So maybe I'll get to spend a third or a quarter of the remainder of my life in my own home. That is until I can't take care of myself anymore and I get shoved in a retirement home.

Jesus Ed, cheer up goth

 

[Aizen]

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling excited about your new house right now, I know it's been quite the process from what I've read on here. It sounds like quite a big job you've signed yourself up for and I can see you are exhausting yourself thinking of the big picture, way down the line. It's a shame how we can get into our own head sometimes and once the perspective changes, you can go from being super pumped about something to feeling like you're tied down and depressed. And it can be hard to get that back. I'm not sure I can be of any real help other than to say I know what it feels like to be at conflict of how you should be excited and thrilled about something and just feeling blah about it. Try to remember what you were feeling when you were first looking for houses, and how you envisioned your life unfolding. Think of how great your house will be when you finally get it made the way YOU want, not some other schmuck's vision. Think of how many great memories you will have as your family and life unfolds there. Definitely do NOT think of how the bank owns your house - think of it as them investing in you because you've shown to be a reliable bet. Get your hands dirty and do some work on your new place. We recently started a small garden in the back yard in our new house this summer and that feels really great. And shit, we're renting. Congrats on the new house dude. I hope you can get into a better mindset and enjoy the first summer in your new place. Take a sec to pat yourself on the back as well, sometimes we forget to do that.

 

[da_man]

Think positive thoughts. You are now looking at that big debt you are tied down to. Its easy to think negatively now that all the adrenaline of owning a house is over. The messed up part is, it may not be how you envisioned getting one. Ride those thoughts out. I'm sure its not nearly as bad you're thinking it is. I'm a pessimist too and I can tell you that whatever your conjuring up is always gonna be worse than reality.

 

[raggamuffin]

Thanks guys, your replies made me smile. It's good to get outside perspective as I can definitely get lost in my own thoughts a lot. We're moving in on 29th and on the 30th we've got builders over to inspect and do quotes. I think I'll feel better once we're actually moved in and I start seeing progress being made in getting towards how we want our house to look.

Ed

 

[Nyte]

It might help you to think about all the money you're going to save not paying rent.

A home can be worth a considerable amount more than what you put into it when you buy a fixer-upper like you did.

 

[raggamuffin]

man yesterday was all fucked up in the evening. We heard crying outside around 11pm. It wasn't usual crying though, it was really harrowing. Initially it didn't even sound human, we thought an animal had been hit by a car and was hurt and whimpering. After a minute or 2 we realized something really wasn't right, we could hear talking amongst the crying. Me and my girlfriend got dressed and rushed downstairs and told my mum something was happening outside. When we went outside to investigate we saw our neighbour outside of her home and she was crying hysterically and shouted to my mum "I think he's dead".

Her husband had collapsed against the wall in the bathroom. I rang for an ambulance but he had no pulse and wasn't breathing. I had to drag him out of the bathroom. His body was still warm, his eyes rolled back. The whole situation almost caused a panic attack, but I remained as calm as I could.

His wife was in absolute hysterics. Then my mum did CPR. When the ambulance arrived they spent nearly an hour trying to revive him, but he died. Truth be told it seemed like he was dead when we got there. but when he was hooked up to the defibrilator initially it monitored him and said a shock wasn't needed. So they continued with CPR and oxygen. But a few minutes later it analyzed him again and gave him a shock.

The whole situation was so surreal I saw him only that morning before I went to pick up the house keys. I don't think I processed it properly yet. I assumed he'd just feinted and hit his head. But those eyes...jesus man. I don't think that image will ever leave me.

Today the image of his body lying there and his eyes rolled up in his head kept coming to my minds eye. I kept seeing people in the street who reminded me of him. What's done is done though. I'm trying to be rational and say that it was his time. We did all we could and the past can't be changed. i hope his wife and kids cope ok.

Off topic and somewhat on the plus side, sort of, I got my blackout sleeve started today. Sore as fuck now.

Definitely up and down these past few days.

Ed

 

[da_man]

Its tough when you are thrown into a situation like that. Sadly that's the stuff we can't avoid in life unless we become hermits and avoid everyone/everything. This might not be relevant atm moment because you're probably still in shock but you fought through a very tough situation with everything you had. Don't let the aftershock keep you down for too long.